Privacy Policy
We guard your secrets like we guard the remote.
Updated as of September 17, 2025
We Keep Secrets Better Than We Keep Track of Our Glasses
At Grumpy Gramps, your personal information is safe with us — safer than the TV remote hidden from the grandkids. We don't sell, trade, or share your details with strangers, nosy neighbors, or anyone who might use it to send you spam. Your trust means more to us than our afternoon nap, and that's saying something.
No Snooping — We Leave That to the Grandkids
We only collect the information we need to make your shopping experience smooth, like your name, address, and payment details. We don't go digging through your personal life, and we certainly don't care what you had for breakfast. We're here to sell you great stuff, not to pry.
Your Data's Locked Up Tighter Than Grampa's Shed
We use secure systems and encryption to protect your information from hackers, scammers, and anyone else who thinks they're clever. Just like Grampa's shed, only those with the right key (or password) can get in — and even then, we keep a close eye on things.
We Don't Hold On Forever (Unlike Old Newspapers)
We keep your information only as long as we need it to process orders, handle returns, or meet legal requirements. Once it's no longer needed, we let it go — unlike that stack of newspapers from 1937 in the garage.